"SOCRATES: ... Good evening, Sandra. You look stunning, as always. Who are you wearing?
SANDRA: And? There’s no “and.” I’m wearing Valentino.
SOCRATES: Yes, obviously, your trainer-hewn physical form is draped in tangible designer fashions but, in a more essential, holistic sense, are you not also wearing, or, to be less metaphorical, bearing, the values, the views, the emotional residue of all—father, mother, siblings, peers, teachers, The Ex Who Must Not Be Named, et cetera—who have figured significantly in your life? Shouldn’t one’s emotional couturiers receive equal acknowledgement on this night?"
Woodiwiss, Bob. "Socrates on the Red Carpet" from McSweeney's Internet Tendency.
There's an academic article's worth of sartorial word-play in this piece: read more of it here!